So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
