I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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