pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
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