you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
