Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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