this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
areolas are like halos for boobs.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
