I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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