When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
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