Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
