I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
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Do I have a choice?
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It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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