He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
dude. I can hear the air.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
