"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
My penis needs a shock collar
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
