I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
