I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
