Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Can I color on your dick again?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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