I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Randomize
