Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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