He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
