If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
