Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
