Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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