So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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