I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
