all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
