she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
