Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
