I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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