is your mom at the bar?
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
