dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i think my mom watched the whole time
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize