How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Randomize
