i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
