So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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