I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
