Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
