I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
