We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
