Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
