: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
