Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
