My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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