The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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