You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
We had sex on a dog bed..
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
