I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
