glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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