I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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