my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
