She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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