you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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