..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
