God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Of course I have a pirate flag
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
