It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
