Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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