I am puke
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
