I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
