I seem to have left my pride at pride
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
