I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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