i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
