I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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