What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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