So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
