I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
