Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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