Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
