I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
